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Waiting a few more months or even another year to tie the knot wouldn't have strengthened our relationship or made ourselves any surer that we were meant for each other.All it would have done is dragged out the inevitable.Just like any situation with the opposite sex, there are exceptions to the rule, because there is no one-size-fits-all set of rules for every relationship; but being unofficial for too long while one person wants more is usually a situation destined for disaster.
If I am spending a lot of time around a man and we are ‘playing couple’ without a commitment, I’ve decided that after six months, playtime is over.
This is usually because one of us wants more than what the other is willing to give.
Once you meet that special person that meets your criteria for a future spouse, it’s not going to matter if you date them for 2-3 years or 2-3 months before getting married.
If the person is right for you, you’ll find a way to work together and enjoy the good times and the bad.
The conventional wisdom seems to be to date as long as possible to make sure you really know the person.
Having gone through a long courtship (the late wife) and a fast one (Marathon Girl) I've learned that the amount of time you date isn't as important as knowing what you want in a future spouse and not wasting time with someone who isn't compatible and doesn't meet your standards.Though the late wife and I knew each other for years, we didn't start dating until we were both in college.(I was a junior; she a freshman.) After a year of steady dating, I decided to serve an LDS mission to Bulgaria.James on his part is also a church worker and one of the most sought after bachelors with many ladies always dreaming of having him as a husband, so it was a surprise when he approached me and said he would like to marry me.A discussion over on the Dating a Widower Facebook group got me thinking about the time people spend between dating and marrying.If anything, going through the pressure that came with our hectic lives actually brought us closer together in ways that waiting another six month or a year never could have done. If it wasn’t for a handful of widower-related issues, the total time from dating to marriage might have been two or three months sooner.After the late wife died, I stumbled back in to the dating waters. After the second time around I learned that the amount of time we were going to date wasn’t nearly as important as making sure we were compatible in ways that were important to each other.The rule is: if one person wants a relationship and the other hasn’t decided what they want, there should be a time limit on how long you should be tied up in the dating zone.Because I know women and men are different when it comes to…well just about everything, I asked three guys how long it usually takes for them to decide if they want a commitment. They all agreed that if they are consistently (keyword: consistently), dating someone for about six to eight months, that next step should be coming soon. Every situation is different, but I’ve never dated someone consistently for a year and it ended in a relationship.Looking back, the only regret I have about the marriage to my late wife is that we didn’t get married six months sooner. After we married, we both worked two jobs and attended school full time—albeit only for a semester.Somehow, despite our busy lives, we still managed to find time for each other and build on our relationship.