Unless you can facilitate all parties getting along, you'll probably have to make that choice."A partner can manipulate you to view a family member differently by stating critical comments, or sly innuendo and judgments," relationship coach and psychic medium Melinda Carver tells Bustle.
"If you find your opinion of your family member changing through your partner's manipulation, ask yourself whether you are viewing that person through your partner's judgment or yours."Though we all have strange family members, if your relationship with your cousin or mom or aunt was fine before, you should consider what is really going on here. Do you want an estrangement with your mom or sister because your [partner] wants them out of your life? "Allowing your partner to control your family relationships through manipulation is not healthy for you, nor for your family." If this is happening, it is vital that you turn things around right away."When your family members don’t want to accept invitations where your partner will be present, this is because they are uncomfortable around that partner and choose to stay away rather than connect with you and tolerate your partner," New York–based relationship expert and author April Masini tells Bustle.
"Maybe you have a negative family, or maybe it’s your partner who’s the problem." There's only one way to find out: Look at things from a clear-headed point of view."Step back and take an objective look at who your partner is to your family." If it becomes clear that it's your partner — and not your family — it's time for a talk."If there is an increase in conflict with family that somehow always indirectly or directly relates to your partner, chances are there is a causation," life coach Kali Rogers tells Bustle.
"Talk about it first before making any rash decisions, because all you statistics nerds know that correlation does not always mean causation." But if it becomes clear that this is more than a correlation, and is a pattern, it might be wise to move on."If your partner wants you to pull away from your family to be with them more, and to have less of a relationship with them, this can be a red flag," psychologist Nikki Martinez tells Bustle.
In dealing with guys who are uncertain, moving forward with the relationship, developing a routine and becoming more familiar with him will remedy the issue, as once these elements happen, the reluctant-to-handle-emotions guy will become less unsure and snuggle closer. Some guys, in an attempt to avoid the sting of rejection, decline to move closer to the girls they like.
If the man who is currently distancing himself from you seems to be fearful of being rejected, you may be able to help him by increasing the number of signs of affection you give, says Cosmopolitan magazine."Obviously, this dynamic swings both ways, but if your partner’s reaction to your family members staying away is aggressive, chances are, the partner is stirring the pot and hurting the dynamic between you and your family."Though your family might be being unreasonable, they also might be seeing something you're not."A partner may relish this dynamic because it’s easier for him or her to handle than having to make relationships work with your other family members," she says.If that is not the case for you, it may be time to rethink your relationship.Here are eight ways to tell if your partner is harming your relationships with your family."If your family don’t want to see both of you together, tell you they don’t like your partner, or try to see you alone, there’s something wrong," Tina B. Romance, psychotherapist and author of tells Bustle.For many guys, the beginning of a relationship is a time of uncertainty and confusion.This uncertainty as to what they want and what this new relationship means can lead some guys to push the ladies they like away from them, avoiding the relationship and, by connection, the complex emotions it brings about."For example, his [or her] behavior is problematic because [s/]he gets too drunk, [s/]he makes derogatory comments about people, flirts with other women, etc.," she says.All of these things are definitely not acceptable — and if they're happening in front of your family (or when your fam isn't around, for that matter), it's likely that you have a problem on your hands.No one likes a scene, especially when the person causing them is not related to anyone present.Do something — stat."If your family refuses to be around them and they have concrete reasons for being upset," there's a big problem, Stefanie Safran, Chicago's "Introductionista" and founder of Stef and the City, tells Bustle.