Why is it that two people become friends or lovers and others don't?
Why is it that two people become friends or lovers and others don't?Following are some general causes that research has shown to be important.1. There may be many people "out there" who you could be good friends with or could be happily married to. They live in another city or a block away, and you never meet them.Jerry was 21, but had made only one friend in his life.Tags: dating websites meet military menTelugusix vedeossex dating in triumph illinoissex dating in wayne oklahomaChat rooms for online dating auntiesPrivat cam picfriends for dating in kolkatarich women looking for love dating sites
He used individual counseling, an assertion training group, and self-help books. More importantly, he was much happier with himself and his life. Most people I see don't start at such a low level and only want or need much less help.
If you think you have a long way to go, then it is helpful to know that others have gone even further.
* More on Introductions * How To Be An Interesting Conversationalist: The Concept of Free Information * Establish Conversational Balance, Equality, and Intimacy * How personal/intimate is the topic * Establish Trust: Trust and Responsible Behavior Begets Trust * Are You Compatible Giving and Receiving Basic Information * Variables Affecting the Success of Any Relationship * Develop (And Practice) a Brief Meeting People Strategy * Asking Questions Effectively * Conversational Styles * Characteristics of intimate conversations * Drawing Your Partners Feelings Out * Romantic Conversations * Controversial Topics and Intimacy * Continuing A Successful Conversation: Develop your Internal Observer * Revealing Potentially Embarrassing Information * What If You Want to Date Someone Who Has a Lot More Experience than You * What To Do When You Can’t Think of Anything To Talk About * How to Win Friends, Influence People, and be Loved By Women: Empathetic Listening Skills * Empathetic Listening Skills as Conversation Generators * Non-Verbal Communication: Using Body Language to Build Closeness * The Importance of Physical Attractiveness * Problems With Your Physical Appearance * Physical Illnesses, Disability, or Similar Problems * Issues Related To Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs) * Mild to Moderate Psychological Problems * Problems That Almost Always Destroy Relationships * The pace of the relationship.
What if you want to go slowly * What if one partner has a performance anxiety problem with sex When Jerry first came in for counseling, he was so shy that he couldn't even look at me and could only give one-line answers to questions.
Ask yourself, honestly, what someone who you want is looking for. If you have 10 contacts with someone and the overwhelming feeling you get each time is happiness, how do you feel?
Compare your degree of attachment/liking/closeness to a situation where all 10 contacts with the other person have left you feeling very unhappy.
(Don't use coercion to be together though, because coercion has huge negative affects often outweighing any positive effects of the shared time.) All relationships fall somewhere on the intimacy continuum.
To get closer and more intimate we must move along that continuum in our relationship with someone.
Part of that romantic attractiveness dimension is physiological and a greater part is cultural and psychological.
For example, many people share beliefs that flowers, cards, "romantic" music or movies, lighting, and romantic talk are "romantic." Those beliefs cause a romantic reaction in the believer when any of those stimuli are present under the right conditions.