If you'd like to begin having those conversations that aren’t always easy to start, here are a few ways to initiate or segue into it: You can be really playful with this.
Growing up, we were taught to “use our words” whenever we wanted to express what was on our mind, as opposed to pouting and acting generally miserable to get attention.
That’s pretty sound advice coming from our elementary-school epoch; why is it that we leave that lesson behind as we get older?
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Have you ever met a girl and you were both clearly interested in seeing each other again, but for some reason you never got her out on the first date? She gave you her number, you started texting each other, but then something weird happened…It’s simple. When you learn the rules of the game, you can play to win.
If it’s a tricky conversation that is probably way more hyped up in your head than it is in real life, have a walk-and-talk chat about it.
These long, leisurely walks are best done without any destination in mind, so you don’t need to cut your conversation short once you reach a certain place.This sets the stage, plain and simple, for you to take some time to talk.By stating what it’s about up front, they aren’t waiting with increasing suspense until the very end of the story to hear why you’re sharing this with them."The key is to determine what you feel good doing and what your man wants to hear, then work from there," says Aline P.Zoldbrod, Ph D, sex therapist and author of There's no need to consult the Spice channel for tutelage; just follow our easy manual. Listen to tunes that turn you on, read racy fiction, or conjure up steamy scenarios involving you and your dude.If your cutie took to the compliments by issuing his own or was clearly excited by your semispicy discourse, then maybe you want to get a little dirtier.To avoid embarrassment and clichéd phrases spawned during the days of Boogie Nights: "Develop your own code for those words that are difficult to say and you'll feel less tongue-tied," says Zoldbrod. " might signify 69; "tease me" could be a request for oral sex; and "my turn" might let him know that you want to be on top.Do some deep breathing and let your body totally relax.Then experiment with sounds you could utter the next time you're in the sack. "This kind of feedback cheers him on," says Zoldbrod.Couples may put off these conversations time and again because bringing these topics to light can mean rocking the boat and digging up some potentially embarrassing or unpleasant feelings.In talking about things either sexy (let's have a threesome!