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Alan has been in an on-and-off relationship with Raya for more than a year now (currently off).“Tinder lets everyone in, so you have to swipe through an amazing amount of garbage to find someone in your bracket,” Alan said, applying sunscreen to his nose.Another distinction: Raya profiles are displayed in a video—a slideshow of your images plays along to a song of your choosing.

Alan has been in an on-and-off relationship with Raya for more than a year now (currently off).“Tinder lets everyone in, so you have to swipe through an amazing amount of garbage to find someone in your bracket,” Alan said, applying sunscreen to his nose.Another distinction: Raya profiles are displayed in a video—a slideshow of your images plays along to a song of your choosing.

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I voted for Bernie Sanders in the primaries, that sort of thing. Sure, it’s sort of cool to swipe past lesser celebs while drunkenly prowling for sex on your phone, but you’re probably never going to sleep with those people. In reality, Raya is full of C-List models, social-media managers who for some reason have a ton of arty photos of themselves emerging from the ocean, people named Wolf, people whose bios say things like “racing driver living between Monaco and Tokyo,” and, like, a million dudes who claim to be successful fashion photographers, but in reality have less Instagram followers than some dogs I know.

Multiple times, snooty friends of mine have turned up their noses at the mention of Tinder, assuming I would use a “normal” dating app only if I’d never heard of Raya, or if—shock, horror—I’d applied and been rejected.

The problem, of course, is that whenever something is defined as being elite or exclusive, it tends to attract status-conscious douchebags.

And while there’s a part of all of us that wants to be VIP or to get backstage or whatever, to participate in a system that prioritizes status in intimate interactions seems like a step too far.

“It’s not that I'm anti-exclusivity or against narrowing things down, but Raya just seems to attract the wrong people.

It’s the Soho House world of elitism: They want to draw young, cool artists, but they actually just attract rich people, and dudes in advertising who collect vintage cameras as decorations.” As for the girls on Raya? “It’s an endless stream of photos of girls doing splits on the beach, or a photo from the one time they modeled for, like, Rawanastan or something.”Alan’s main pet peeve about Raya is that, the few times he met girls through the app, what he’d thought was genuine flirtation turned out to be a networking ploy—they were just actresses who wanted work.I’ve been on Raya for a year, but it’s the only dating app that I’ve never successfully met anyone through, compared with Tinder, Happn, and Bumble, which have all led to various degrees of dating, friendship, and casual sex.And Raya is the only app on which a match has asked me to tweet a link to their Kickstarter.Live your very best life and always know that one night stands are a part of life, they make the best stories and are all a part of growing up. So the other night I was at a party, talking to a friend of a friend—one of those special types of New York artists who never actually make any art. The consensus seems to be: Why go to a party that lets everyone in, when you could go to the party that accepts only a select few?Instead, Raya creates the promise of something romantic, but it’s actually just people trying to be around other cooler people.” He shrugged.“If all a Raya date is going to get me is one more Instagram follower, well, I just don't need that in my life.”My experience has been somewhat similar.“Raya’s not a dating app, it's a social-climbing app,” Alan told me.“I think it's good for surfer bros and models, but I don't think many people are actually dating or hooking up on Raya.About 95% of the time, that is for sure NOT going to be the case.So, take a deep breath, know that you’re young, vibrant and alive.

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