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I believe that we can “have it all at the same time.” But not today, not with the way America’s economy and society are currently structured.

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The first set of reactions, with the underlying assumption that my choice was somehow sad or unfortunate, was irksome enough.

But it was the second set of reactions—those implying that my parenting and/or my commitment to my profession were somehow substandard—that triggered a blind fury. All my life, I’d been on the other side of this exchange.

I’d been the woman smiling the faintly superior smile while another woman told me she had decided to take some time out or pursue a less competitive career track so that she could spend more time with her family.

my job as the first woman director of policy planning at the State Department, a foreign-policy dream job that traces its origins back to George Kennan, I found myself in New York, at the United Nations’ annual assemblage of every foreign minister and head of state in the world. Obama hosted a glamorous reception at the American Museum of Natural History.

I sipped champagne, greeted foreign dignitaries, and mingled.


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