Somehow through the years, spouses forget how to be nice, how to say sweet nothings, how to have a generous, giving spirit to the person they live with.
So, my advice for the day to all the guys out there is to try a little kindness.
Give a genuine and heartfelt compliment, or two, or three.
These are people who are long past the first blush of deep, mad love -- and this is not just marriage, but any committed relationship.
Yet there was an implied promise to live happily ever after when you fell in love, got involved and committed, and that has turned out to be the most elusive concept of all to grasp.
Sometimes there's as little as a five-year age difference between a cougar and her cub, sometimes it's 20 (or more).
It really doesn't matter as long as everyone knows what they're looking for and what they're getting.Some women aren't even demanding to be made to feel desirable, but just to be made to feel worthy.As one friend put it, she was as starved for a compliment -- any compliment -- as some poor children are for food in third world countries, and she engaged in an online flirtation to quell that deep hunger. It's called working on your marriage, and requires the effort many put into their career work, or even their fantasy football.Men go through hormonal changes just like women do and it makes for two very testy people living under the same roof.I know men who are crankier and more crotchety than females in this era of life.None of these couples broke up due to abuse, infidelity, or anything that would automatically spell divorce, but rather it was a general malaise in the marriage.In fact this article says that more and more baby boomer couples are divorcing these days.Most of us don't even know HOW to be happy or feel happy anyway.There is always a few to a long list of things life throws at us causing discontent.Then there are engineering types, techie types like my own husband who have trouble with the romantic, flowery stuff.When he says I look great or growls or the rare occasion when he sees me, I know that is the ultimate compliment from him. Sometimes it is enough, and sometimes there is a longing for more. Some women get absolutely shut out in the way of sweet nothings.