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Luckily, a woman can approach this in pretty much the same way a man does, and that’s where I can help a sister out.Take it from a guy who has been in this tight spot a time or two—there are three things you must do before moving forward with your friend’s ex. Anyone who has had any sort of meaningful romantic relationship can tell you that—over it or not—it would be difficult for them to be around their ex.
It’s a good idea to go into any romantic affair with eyes wide open.
The key to making a prudent decision here is to keep an emotional distance until you have made a conscious decision to move forward with your friend’s ex. We all want to be happy, and most of us are looking for someone with whom to live happily ever after.
Just because you and your best pal are hot for each other doesn’t necessarily mean it’s going to end in dating—we all like having attractive friends, especially men as very “visual” creatures.
But that doesn’t mean it can’t or won’t go anywhere.
At the moment when he said that, she briefly asked herself, "Huh. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website.
We end up having a great conversation, and try as we may, sometimes no amount of telling ourselves, “Pull yourself together, man! They likely have things in common and, even after the breakup, still share many of the same friends, and we’re all looking for love, right? Like it or not, we find ourselves appreciating our buddies’ tastes in women (what can I say, great minds think alike! Say a friend of mine breaks up with so-and-so, and we run into her at a party. Guys and gals get to know their friends’ significant others in nonthreatening, no-pressure contexts and learn to appreciate what their friend liked about them. You’re into it, he’s into it, there’s some serious chemistry, and you might have stumbled upon something really special. In discussing this topic with my female friends, it seems to me that men are especially experienced in dealing with this dilemma.But if you’re wondering how to go about dating your friend’s ex, and you think the pursuit might really have potential, don’t worry, you are not a terrible person.But you do need to make sure you go about this right.He always reminds you that you’re awesome, and plays into all your jokes (good and bad).He helped you move apartments last year, and made dinner with all your favorites that week your boss decided to rule with an iron fist.I was honest with him and told him I’d probably be less likely to go if I knew she would be there. I just wasn’t jumping at the chance to be around her. The question you need to ask yourself, then, is whether it’s worth it. I know men typically like to have control over situations or at least feel like we have control.We all know the difference between a fling and something more. Why not just tell her that you’re going to date her ex? I imagine that most women like to have the same sense of consent.People often have a bad opinion of pursuing friends’ exes.And there certainly are times when people who go down this path find that it really wasn’t worth it.