Instead, I find myself fantasizing about and/or flirting with men in my professional circles who are mentally stimulating to me, understand my career and creative drive and ignite in me something I think I never experienced with my husband — deep, feminine PASSION (some of these guys are fat or old or not handsome — and I still find them so, so sexy! These are men who jibe with my own growing social circle of equally driven and creative people — people who my husband never really connected with or felt comfortable around (even though, in all his decency and devotion to me, was always kind to and made an effort for).
I don’t have any commitment to any of these men, but simply feeling that way around them made me realize that by staying in my marriage.
I see those I love most suffering because of this decision, and I am left feeling selfish, guilty and all-around rotten.” I have heard many similar stories, all of which resonate on some level.
I am glad I am not married to my ex, even if he is a good guy.
I have a very strong theory and have heard from countless other divorcees through the years, that the first after divorce relationship, is always a disaster, which sometimes at worse, will make your divorce break up pale in comparison.
This can’t be random as it effects so many people, it has to be because whether we realize it or not, we give off a kind of wounded bird aura, as a newly divorced person, we appear weak, easily pleased, which quite often we are.
He was the perceptual charming, but good time guy so to speak, but even worse, he shouldn’t have been dating me, I was a total emotional wreck, with my life mostly in shambles.
As lovely as I like to think I am, I was clearly not date-able at least for the first year probably well into the second year after my divorce.
These relationships though, are often built on a foundation of sand, lust and emotional vulnerability, that the person dating the very newly divorced person, is in a way taking advantage of the situation in a way.
I recently spoke to the first person I seriously dated after my own divorce, lets call him Mr M, we have long since become friends, but in hindsight, he both is not anyone I should have dated.