Dating without obligation

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We're going to talk for a few hours after dinner and then I'll be home. Chances are good that he or she already has a good idea of what dating is all about! For example, "I'm going out on a date with (person's name) on Friday.Just as you like to spend time with your special friends, I also want some time to be with my friends."With pre-teens and young teens (11-14) you can broach the topic of dating after the divorce. I'm wondering how you feel about me starting to date." Note: This does not mean that you are asking your child's permission to date. You are simply initiating discussion that is likely to be ongoing.Most professionals agree that parents should keep their dating relationships private and away from children until the relationship is serious. What you should avoid though is introducing your children to every person you date after your divorce.

We're going to talk for a few hours after dinner and then I'll be home. Chances are good that he or she already has a good idea of what dating is all about! For example, "I'm going out on a date with (person's name) on Friday.Just as you like to spend time with your special friends, I also want some time to be with my friends."With pre-teens and young teens (11-14) you can broach the topic of dating after the divorce. I'm wondering how you feel about me starting to date." Note: This does not mean that you are asking your child's permission to date. You are simply initiating discussion that is likely to be ongoing.

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For example, "I'm going to have dinner with a man/woman that I met at work.I'm wondering how you feel about that." Since your teens are also likely dating, it is important to talk with them about how it may be awkward to have a parent dating at the same time. How will my children be affected by my decision to date?It is also critical that you remain in the role of parent and not turn into your child's best friend where you each gush about your new girl or boyfriend. Every child will react in his or her own way to a parent's dating after the divorce.If your children attach to every person you date, they are likely to be hurt and experience loss each time the relationship doesn't work.This roller coaster ride is hard enough for adults. The other side of this is that children are often not all that nice to people their parents are dating.The idea of getting back into the dating scene after years being married is daunting at best.But, we humans are instinctively drawn to partnering up.Here are a few of the questions that parents ask: Regarding Your Children How do I explain my dating to my children?What you say to your children when you begin dating after your divorce will depend largely on their age. You'll be in bed when I get home."With school-age children (6-10) you can begin to provide more information.This is a good time to reassure your child that even though you are beginning to go out on dates, you will still always reserve time for just the two of you.With teens (15-20) it is important to be honest about your actions. It's been long enough after the divorce that I am ready to meet some new people.

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