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When we argued, I was actively annoyed but even when we didn’t, I found I was always expecting the next time and getting annoyed in advance.The relief I felt when we broke up made me realize how much energy this was draining from me. Obviously, I saw some good qualities in my ex or I wouldn’t have dated him at all.If I don’t respect someone, I can’t be attracted to that person.
Looking at him through my friends’ eyes, it became clear they would never accept him. Rather than feel protective of him, I had to admit to myself that I agreed with their assessment. When I tried hanging out with his friends, the situation was reversed.In the end, I just got tired and wanted an easier life.THE MORE WE TALKED, THE MORE I FOUND HIS POLITICS AN ABSOLUTE TURN OFF.Having to constantly explain and defend who I am and how I think and feel is tiring. When I’m with my friends, there are some things we all agree on and they can remain unspoken, as everyone already knows where we stand.This means we don’t have to constantly think about what we’re about to say or consider whether it’s going to hurt anyone’s feelings or start an argument.For some people, this sort of thing brings spice to a relationship. I expect my relationship to be supportive, relaxing and uncomplicated.None of these things are going to happen if my world view is constantly being questioned by the person who’s meant to be my closest ally. Debating politics is a great way of opening your mind to new ideas and adjusting your political views as you go along, but guess what?I realized this is what I wanted in my relationship too.I COULDN’T SEPARATE THE GUY FROM HIS POLITICAL VIEWS.If a guy holds views that are so radically different from my own, it means our world views are radically different too.Being with a person who sees things in a way I generally find blatantly wrong is just not for me. Being with a guy with opposing political views meant constantly arguing about politics.