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Perhaps I’m uptight and maybe this is all the bait some men need to be lured off to a not-so-glamorous location for some afternoon delight, but the practice makes me uneasy.
As a user of gay dating sites, this made me think about the danger inherent in meeting men who I know nothing about, other than what they choose to tell me, which may or may not be true.
My experience of meeting men from these sites has been overwhelmingly positive, and I have always prided myself on being a good judge of character. In reality, I never really know if the person I am about to meet is a safe bet. This realisation was further compounded when I recently re-joined Grindr.
My love affair with Grindr has always been more of a regrettable fling which invariably ends with me deleting the app from my phone within a couple of days. If previously, my feelings towards the platform were ambivalent, they have now been crystallised: I actively dislike it.
Grindr has acquired a somewhat iconic status in the gay community and understandably so.
Whilst sex should be fun and experimentation should be promoted in order that we can all have fulfilling and liberated sexual lives, simply using each other as receptacles for penises totally negates the emotional and psychological aspects of healthy sexuality.
More pertinently, the most vulnerable individuals on these sites, the young, inexperienced men who really need positive sexual role-models are being taught that in order to receive the attention and intimacy they crave, they must allow themselves to be used as sex objects.
It was the first geosocial networking based site and as such, it made the gay-dating game mobile in a way which no other site had achieved before.
It allowed men to identify and meet other men wherever they were, and therefore, implicitly at least, it promoted sex-on-the-go for which there is considerable demand.
Personally, the Mc Donald’s Drive-Thru approach to dating has never been my thing.
I’m not aggressive enough, I don’t like engaging in anonymous sex and to be frank, I am too neurotic to clamber up nine flights of stairs to the dingy flat of a man I have never even met before to partake in intimate relations. What really put me off the whole thing was a message I received within 24 hours of re-activating my account.