Dating hamster wheel of despair

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Think of the perceived pressure, to be solely responsible for the financial well-being of a family.

Think of the perceived pressure, to be solely responsible for the financial well-being of a family.Among the couples I have known, this kind of arrangement works best when both parties discuss it and agree to it upfront, but not at the Most men don’t like it if you bring up marriage early in the process of getting to know each other.

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That doesn’t mean you’re too young to be wanting it for your life. In the same way that guys like to think an idea is theirs, even when you’ve planted it there, and as a result you get an easier life…

But remembering that guys are different to gals, it is very unlikely that you will find a fella that will feel comfortable even contemplating the possibility of future marriage to anyone at your current age. It’s every bit as okay as you wanting to get married and settle down and have kids in the future (whenever that is). In the same way as this, you accept that the fellas (in question) are not capable of dealing with this topic yet, but that that is different from what they may or may not actually want. You accept life as it is, knowing what your overall life plan is.

Women who find themselves in this situation can either find it really frustrating and annoying, or they can think “c’est la vie” and crack on with it, still ultimately getting things their own way anway.

There will be things that men do for an easier life too, I’m sure.

In the 60s and 70s it was considered by some women to be a betrayal of the work that feminists were doing towards equality, in the 80s it was considered by some to be a cop-out because “women don’t really want to work” , and always there have been men who feel that a woman is treating him as a meal ticket if she states she wants to do this.

The good news is that attitudes have evened out somewhat, but mentioning it too early in a relationship , not unreasonably, cause some anxiety for a partner.

M Barclay dishes about thrill and awkwardness of dating after coming out as queer, imagining a non-binary world and beach parties.

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I’m not sure about the guy you’ve just mentioned or the reasons for his behavior but I did give you an alternative possibility here.

I’m going to answer the bit specifically about you, (rather than the larger, generic question), and my answer is from my own experience…


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