Most of us will remember people who were very clear about being interested in us shortly after they met us.However, that obvious interest often leads us to making those people second priority.
Dating advice too nice
I used to work in a women's domestic violence shelter, so when I talk about how being too nice can ruin your relationship, I feel those women staring me down from their cots as they wished they had that problem. Believe it or not, a lot of couples have problems that stem from being too nice.
We also fear that by asking for something specific we miss out the other possibilities. It can feel like our desires rock the boat instead of guiding us. Your ability to say yes, to what you want and no to what you don’t is a strength.
There is also the fear that if ask for something specific and we don’t like it, we’ll be stuck with it. You have to own the ability to express those desires to people who matter to you. But other people will never put us first in dating. If you can really own this then you can shed the “nice” label for good.
This doesn’t make any sense to you on a surface, as you expect your partner to appreciate and give you as much back as you give to them. It does not work like business, and you cannot expect the same reciprocity and fairness.
It is essential that you understand and remember that there is a fundamental difference between being nice, kind, and giving and being attractive and desirable.