This time is usually described as a period of charm, fascination, and attraction.The new relationship is so intense that the addict is usually able to hide their demons.
The discrepancies and contradictions in stories and unpredictable behaviors of the addict become more apparent.
The addict is feeling more comfortable with the relationship and secure their loved one is not going to just up and leave.
The sober partner may be questioning their own eyes, sanity, and reality just to try and believe an addict’s lies.
Over time,the strange, unexplained behavior can no longer be chalked up to nothing.
Even if the sober partner feels that something may not be right, they ignore their instincts.
The addict is able to make light of their substance abuse and convince their partner that they just like to party once in a while. I started to notice that my boyfriend’s car was home when it was supposed to be at work.So how can you become ready to address your own codependence and co-addiction? And a section at the end for your questions or comments or experiences.In the beginning of a relationship with an addict things are usually amazing.This new person is revealing themselves more and more of the time.The addict is no longer hiding their addiction but instead making excuses for it. The worry, fear, and obsession over their partner may become chronic.I found him sitting up on his couch, asphyxiating from a drug overdose.Because my feelings for him were so strong, I allowed him to let me believe that this was not a problem and things just got out of control. I was desperately afraid of this behavior but I loved him so much I felt it would hurt more to be without him.Wanting to believe them, you entertain promises of sobriety and proposed behavior changes. Nights are spent wondering if the addict will come home,and hours or sometimes days are spent waiting for a phone call. When they do show up, you watch your spacey-eyed partner make excuses as to why they were not available.The sober mate will make desperate attempts to plead for the addict to change because they hope there is still a viable future for their relationship.If sobriety IS attained, it is usually followed by relapse and broken promises.Ultimately things go back to the way they were—being last on the list of your loved ones priorities while drugs and alcohol is first.