That’s difficult with things to do around the house and children.
Not to mention if you spend more time with your buddy than your wife or girlfriend thinks is appropriate then they think that you are neglecting them.
But the friendship I share with my OLD BUDS is significantly stronger.
So, it’s not that I’m not GOOD at making new friends, I just prefer not to.”–Bart, Distilled Man reader For some men, there’s a sense of starting to really know who they are as they get older—getting clearer about their values and the things they want (and don’t want) in life.
So enjoy the quality not so much the quantity.”–Fred, Distilled Man reader Increasing time-demands from our jobs, from our spouses, and from our children make it more challenging. And where we once may have explored other interests and made new connections, it becomes harder and harder to fight that inertia and broaden our social circles.
This narrowing of our social circles isn’t all bad.Ironically, as we start our journey to becoming men, some of us become preoccupied by worries about not fully reaching some manly ideal.In high school I vividly remember being petrified that I would be a virgin for the rest of my life.Even if you think you’re being judged when you talk to another guy, most likely he’s being more critical of himself than he is of you. Johnny Carson did 4,000 shows with the Tonight Show and said there wasn’t a single episode where he wasn’t nervous beforehand.The key is acknowledging your nerves and then calmly stepping past them.The end of high school and college seem to be the prime time for men to make friends with other guys.This is when we start to zero in on our interests and begin finding paths for our adult lives.For this reason, many men find that in their adult years, they are still far more comfortable talking to women—even in a platonic situation.Meeting guys without an “in” is almost harder than meeting girls (which is tough enough as it is). For some reason, in our society, walking up to a guy and doing something similar with a friendship being the only desired outcome seems strange and bizarre.”–Jesse, Distilled Man reader Is this a real barrier in our society? But as you explore it further, you realize it’s a false barrier: there are no disastrous consequences when you go talk to a random guy. But pretty soon, when he realizes you’re not hitting on him or trying to ask him for money, you both relax and try to enjoy the conversation.Many guys are happy to maintain a few strong connections with men they’ve met in high school or college—and they don’t feel the need for much more socialization beyond that and their family.I am good at making acquaintances with NEW guys that I meet. But on a weekend, I’d rather work in my yard all day and relax by the grill in the evening than hang with any “NEW” friend.