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The sexual addict is a person who tries to use sex to fill non-sexual needs.

Sex becomes not an expression of love in a mature relationship, but rather a compulsive (and often highly ritualized) response to the emotional stresses of life.

Sexual addiction, like most other additions, is a way of running away from life, even for a moment. But since it does not actually solve any problems or ease emotional pain the original problems are still there and now the addiction has created even more problems.

If you are in relationship with someone you think is sexually addicted, your efforts to help may be actually adding to the problem.

In her book, Jennifer Schneider presents a cohesive description of a co-addict.

Schneider points out that the co-addict's self esteem comes from her success as a people-pleaser.To "please and keep her man" the co-addict will often attempt to become indispensable to the addict.Not surprisingly, with the need to be indispensable, the co-addict's most constant emotional state is one of fear. He was looking at porno, again,” reports a counseling client. The blue green glow of the computer made him look diseased.Sex addicts on the Internet often experience a rapid progression of their addiction.The new sexual thrills lead to spending huge amounts of time, moving more quickly into more extreme behaviors, taking greater risks, and getting caught more frequently. The internet fills a need for "more, easier and better." For the cybersex addict, increasing amounts of time are spent "surfing," downloading, creating files, masturbating, reading information posted on sexual bulletin boards, exchanging sexual information live with others in sexual chat rooms or via computer cameras, or directing their own live sex shows on interactive sites--in short, looking for what's new, what's better than last time. The Internet has become the newest, most rapidly growing form of sexual acting out for many sex addicts.Her main goal in life is to try to figure out what her partner wants, and then give it to him.To assure success at pleasing, she may become extremely sensitive to the momentary mood of her partner.


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