Eminent psychologist Karl Menninger said one of the most reliable gauges of a person’s emotional health as an adult was a stable, satisfying childhood.
This doesn’t mean — of course — that you should automatically avoid someone who had a difficult upbringing. This question gets to the core of a person’s being.
Listen closely to discern if your dreams are compatible and complementary. If she works on her ‘day off,’ she might be highly career-oriented…or maybe a workaholic.
If he spends the day coaching a kids’ soccer team, it’s a good bet he loves sports, enjoys kids and wants to help others excel.
Follow up with questions about why the person become so passionate about this particular endeavor or emphasis. Which will give you a chance to share about your own most fascinating work experience.
Though lighthearted, this first date question gives your could-be partner the opportunity to exercise their storytelling abilities. Do you have a special place you like to visit regularly? Instead of asking the predictable ‘What’s your favorite kind of food?After dedicating your time searching and fielding through profiles, you finally had an online witty conversation with a possible-match and you’re ready to take your could-be relationship offline.It’s true that first dates can be one of the most nerve-wracking, anxiety-producing situations in our society.Given that he has just an hour or so to create the intimacy levels that typically take weeks, months, or years to form, he accelerated the getting-to-know-you process through a set of thirty-six questions crafted to take the participants rapidly from level one in Mc Adams’s system to level two. In under an hour it can create a connection stronger than a lifelong friendship. Everyone, both sender and replier, was happier with the interaction…What we learned from this little experiment is that when people are free to choose what type of discussions they want to have, they often gravitate toward an equilibrium that is easy to maintain but one that no one really enjoys or benefits from.Via Click: The Magic of Instant Connections: What he found was striking. Forcing people to discuss interesting but more controversial topics made for more enjoyable first date conversation. Dating site Ok Cupid found one question that was the single best predictor of whether men or women would have sex on the first date: Via Ok Cupid: Among all our casual topics, whether someone likes the taste of beer is the single best predictor of if he or she has sex on the first date…We’ve all got our go-to spots that keep luring us back, whether they are funky coffee shops, scenic hiking trails, or relaxing weekend getaway locales. ’ first date question, ask something more specific that will likely get an entertaining story about food and travel, rather than a one-word answer. In which television show’s world would you most want to live? Keep it light and fun and ask about the fictional world your date would most want to explore. This question offers plenty of freedom for him or her to share their dreams and interests with you.Your date may have a local park he/she frequents or a European city that’s been a regular destination. After the introduction and awkward hug, this opening question should follow. Does the bartender know to bring a gin and tonic to the table before you order? Wouldn’t “Cheers” be a great place for a first date? His or her list could include travel plans, career goals, personal milestones, or adrenaline-junkie adventures. Instead of prying into past heartaches and failures, give him or her an opportunity to share struggles any way he/she so chooses. the conversations about travel tended to revolve around great holidays and dream destinations, and that makes people feel good and so appear more attractive to one another. This is how to have smooth first date conversation. Don’t dominate, but don’t be a non-contributor either. When talking about movies, less than 9 percent of the pairs wanted to meet up again, compared to 18 percent when participants spoke about the top topic—travel…You’ll discover how particular your date is about his food, how adventurous his or her palate is, and if you share a love (or hatred) of mustard. What’s the most embarrassing concert you’ve ever attended? Maybe it’s a tiny trinket that represents a cherished person or memory. Get to know the people in your date’s life by asking about the most fascinating one. But the ability to speak is only one part of the equation—and not the most important part.It’s easy to brag when you’re around someone new, who doesn’t know you quite yet. This first date question top break the ice will help you to discover your date’s priorities, passions and pursuits. Putting your date on the spot might make the first answer an awkward one; let him/her amend the answer as the night goes on. The best communication occurs with an even and equal exchange between two people.