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"People might feel disappointment or rejection if they are not on the same page while engaging in sexual activity," Dr. Whichever category you tend to fall into, just know that there's no "right" way to think about sex, and how you feel can change depending on the person (and the day). Dan Savage's campsite rule: Leave every person you sleep with in at least as good of a state as you found them.
Non-monogamous people might find that it's best to have separate partners who fulfill different emotional or sexual needs at once.
Those in a monogamous relationship could have passionate, emotional sex one day, and then fiery, emotionless sex another day with the same person.
"I think your ability to separate sex and emotion correlates to how you feel about sex, how you think about sex, and how much sexual experience you have," Thomas says.
If you're someone who hasn't had a ton of sexual experience, for example, you might feel more vulnerable about your hookups, simply because there's more weight to them, Thomas says.
In certain cases, the reason why some people connect sex and emotion, while others don't, has to do with the way that we enter into a relationship in the first place.
Online dating makes it easier for people to be able to compartmentalise emotions and sex, Thomas says.
You might have heard that women get more attached after sex than men do, but that's not actually true, Dr. No matter your gender, "hormones released during orgasm, including oxytocin, increase bonding, making you feel closer to, and more trusting of, your partner," Dr. Researchers have studied how people's brains respond to sex, and a 2012 study found that there's an overlap between sexual desire and emotional love in the brain's insular cortex.
So love and lust are definitely different entities in your brain, and they can overlap."Just the act of being sexually vulnerable may produce a connection for some people," says Kristin Zeising, Psy D, a clinical psychologist and couples therapist in San Diego.
There are just a handful of rules you've got to keep in mind.1.
Always practice safe sex This is a no brainer, and something you should be doing anyway (says your judgmental internet friend), but always, always, always, have safe sex.