Because the benefits these people mention seem a lot better than consistently having a d*ck in my face. In the piece, Cooper tackled the topic of friends with benefits, and according to teenage Cooper, two friends can absolutely hook up without ruining their relationship.
Is that a deplorably manipulative state of affairs?
Possibly — until you stop to consider how many of us are comfortable with being unpartnered but how few of us are willing to remain untouched.
Many older divorced or widowed men and women are in the same boat. You're probably not desperate enough to stalk your neighbors, or to go looking for friends with benefits in all the wrong places (bars come to mind).
They feel protective of their privacy and peace of mind, but they haven't become eunuchs or hermits. But offered a chance to reconnect with someone from your past — dinner with your high school steady, for example — you might just surprise yourself by winding up in bed.
The next morning (or even that night) come the recriminations: Was it wrong to give that person the sexual green light when you had no intention of rekindling the emotional side of the relationship?
Marilyn, a 57-year-old single colleague of mine, recently reconnected with someone she had worked with many years ago. "No," Marilyn said with a laugh, "it's better than that: I'm in like with him — and that's exactly where I want to be." She further confided that they planned to make their reunions "a regular thing — if four times a year can be called 'regular.' But I think that's about all I really want." Marilyn's casual approach to maintaining a friendship with benefits typifies the mindset of older folks who have reconciled themselves to having "great fun" even if it's "just one of those things." And episodic pleasure-seeking may be more common than you think: In The Normal Bar, a book I wrote last year with Chrisanna Northrup and James Witte, we reported that 61 percent of female survey respondents who had partners fantasized about someone they had met.
Here are some things to think about when it comes to hooking up: Remember, you can always call Kids Help Phone at 1-800-668-6868 if you need to talk.
Usually, friends with benefits means that two people engage in sexual activity without being in a committed dating relationship with each other. Hook ups tend to be a one-time thing, but people in a friends with benefits relationship usually know each other and are sexual with each other regularly.
Generally, when you’re dating someone, you have special feelings for that person.
In friends with benefits scenarios, you’re just friends — friends who hang out and sometimes kiss, make out or have sex.