Many moons ago I fell very hard for a man who was very wrong for me.I was infatuated with him immediately and the symphony of warning bells was drowned out by an inundation of emotions I had never felt before. I knew I couldn’t trust him and I knew the relationship would end in disaster.It has stored up pretty much everything that’s ever happened to us and makes decisions accordingly.
I didn’t want to admit it though, and planted my feet firmly in denial-ville.
I never felt that way about anyone before and the prospect of him not being on the same page was too painful a pill to swallow…I didn’t.
In time, my instincts gave me a big “I told you so.” Everything I suspected turned out to be true and the most painful breakup probably in the history of the world (or at least, in the history of my life) followed.
Looking back, it’s frustrating to think how much time, energy, and hurt I would have spared myself had I listened to my instincts. Eric and I noticed that the girls who ask us super long winded questions–padding what could be a simple one sentence questions with a million examples and justifications–are the least likely to take the advice we offer and will instead counter with an equally long-winded rebuttal to everything we have to say (that is, if what we say isn’t what they want to hear, which it probably won’t be since what they want to hear is: “The fact that he never texts you back or won’t call you his girlfriend means nothing, this guy is The reason we know these girls won’t listen is because all they’re hearing is the clatter of justifications instead of the sound guidance of their gut.
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The next issue arises at that inevitable point when the man asks himself: Do I want to commit to this woman for the long term? Do you know what makes a man see a woman as girlfriend/wife material? If not, you need to read this too: The #1 Things Men Desire in a Woman Got more techniques for trusting your gut?And as women, we have the upper hand and have been given the gift of “women’s intuition.” It’s something we all possess and it can be fine tuned to work optimally.The way to get in touch with it is to listen to what it’s telling you.The problem is you wish it was a different answer and instead of accepting it, you whittle away what you know with rationalizations.Our thoughts and feelings have the power to guide and protect us, but it’s on us to listen to them.Women usually allow their egos to get so entangled in their relationships that when the relationship collapses, their ego comes crashing down with it and digging yourself out of that rubble is an absolute nightmare.In a good, strong, healthy relationship, you feel loved and secure.Or a time when your gut instinct was totally spot on? I’m a busy, single girl living in NYC and I need advice on how to meet new guys. At the same time, I’m not pushing you towards “speed dating” or meeting guys online or things like that.I go to the gym a lot but other than that I don’t have much in the way of ideas. In Boston they have these events at the Museum of Fine Arts where tons of single women go and get all dolled-up and meet guys. Being out and about at different public events is like the singles bar for people that actually like not having to scream over music to be heard.As for not going on a date, I think its a sign that there has to be something I’m doing wrong. The beliefs that we hold, the things we chase after, the ideals we hold as a society. My point is that there are all sorts of things happening where people meet up for a common reason and people happen to meet each other through it.