I thought I could not live without him so I continued on the same path hoping something would happen that would change him. I still wanted to fix him, until one day an event forced me to fix myself.It was like I was tuning out all of the advice I needed to hear until one day I heard it because I was ready to listen.
You can start asking yourself the questions: If you focus on you, there is less of a chance you will have the time to focus on him.
If you change your life and start doing things that bring back your self-confidence then it is less likely you will want to repair him.
My husband was not forcing me to enable him; I was taking it upon myself to help him because I felt bad for him and I loved him.
I realized when I did things that I knew made his addiction and life easier, even if it was acting crazy so he could feel justified to abuse drugs more, that I was not only enabling him but hurting myself.
I’ve been to an Al-Anon meeting but it’s not enough.
Often, finance, children and other circumstances prevent any simple solutions.
But, they still think one day they will say something and the addict might all of a sudden realize they are. An enabler eventually loses their own boundaries and their lives become convoluted and controlled by addiction.
Enablers lose their identity and do not understand why they keep on doing what they are doing.
If he ever had a chance to stop using drugs, I had to realize it was not going to be because of me.
Most enablers already know that being married, having children, and responsibilities are not enough reason for an addict to get sober.